Welcome

Welcome to our blog. This blog is intended to increase education and awareness on Self Injurious Behavior (SIB) specifically centered towards cutting and burning. Our intended audience is social work students and professionals who may be in need of more information about SIB.

We chose this topic because none of us are very familiar with SIB and the needs of clients who self-injure. We wished to learn more about SIB as well as to dispel many of the myths and stereotypes that are commonly associated with SIB. Our wish is that after visiting our blog individuals will leave more knowledgeable about the mechanics of SIB while increasing empathy and compassion towards those who self-injure.

Disclaimer this blog is not intended to provide mental health or medical advice. If you are looking for help, please call S.A.F.E. Alternatives at 800-DONTCUT or refer to the sidebar for a list of links.

About Us


Top Left: Karen Mudd. My undergraduate degree is in pharmacy and I have 25 years of experience as a pharmacist. I am transitioning into a career in social work in order to follow my truth. Once I obtain my Master's in Social Work, I am interested in working with the geriatric population, as well as those in addiction and recovery.

Cathryn Councill. I have over 13 years of experience in social services including working with persons who are homeless, and persons with mental illness and retardation, as well as survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence. My goal is to obtain my clinical license once I complete my Master's in Social Work and I plan to continue to work in the field of domestic violence and sexual assault on both a clinical and community level.

Irma. I am currently working with families and children providing educational services to children with developmental delays in their areas of development. After completing my masters degree I will continue to work in the community in order to enhance my skills and abilities in social services.

Christina. I have an undergraduate in psychology. I currently work with victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. I also volunteer as a deaf interpreter. Once I complete my Master's in Social Work I would like to work with dialysis patients.

Bottom Left: Felina. I have worked with Alzheimer's/Dementia residents in an Assisted Living Facility, Veterans, Adult Protective Services, and the 2007 Texas Legislative Session with Care for Elders. I am pursuing a PhD in Social Work and plan to work in a clinical setting as well as conduct research in the area of intergenerational matching: meeting the needs of one generation with another. My second career will include professorship at the Graduate level.

John. I am on the verge of graduating from the Social Work program. I completed three semesters of internships in Houston hospitals. Most of working life was spent working for retail businesses. I lived in Honduras, Central america for 3 years. Two of those years I worked for Peace Corps. I will likely work as a Social Worker in a hospital after graduation.

Mary Flowers. My undergrad is in Criminal Justice. The populations I've worked with include: those in the criminal justice system, victims of prostitution, dually diagnosed, GLBT, HIV/AIDS and the Homeless. My best friends are my four wonderful (now grown) kids and most especially my husband. In my down time, I love playing with my Coney-doggy (my dachshund). My goal after graduation (after I take a vacation) is to work with the geriatric population with an emphasis on policy.

General Information on SIB

Self-Injury Behavior (Cutting)
Self-injury is best defined as the deliberate mutilation of the body or a body part, done not with the intent to commit suicide, but as a way of managing emotions that seem too painful for words to express. It can include cutting or burning the skin or bruising oneself through a premeditated accident. It can mean scratching the skin until it bleeds or interfering with the healing of wounds.

History of Self-Injury
Though the media and the medical community appear to have just discovered self-injury, the phenomenon was documented as early as biblical times. Mark 5:5 refers to a demon-possessed man who “always, night and day, was crying and cutting himself with stones.”

In the middle Ages a religious sect known as the “flagellants” wandered through Europe, lashing themselves with cat-o’-nine-tails, attempting to atone for society’s sins and to lift the great plague ravaging the continent. Manifestations of self-injury — as ritual, rite of passage or to appease angry gods —have existed in virtually every culture and every era.

Self-injury is the act of attempting to alter a mood state by inflicting physical harm serious enough to cause tissue damage to your body. This can include cutting (with knives, razors, glass, pins, any sharp object), burning, hitting your body with an object or your fists, hitting a heavy object (like a wall), picking at skin until it bleeds, biting yourself, pulling your hair out, etc. The most commonly seen forms are cutting, burning, and head banging.

"Tissue damage" usually refers to damage that: tears, bruises, or burns the skin -- something that causes bleeding or marks that don't go away in a few minutes. A mood state can be positive or negative, or even neither; some people self-injure to end a dissociated or unreal-feeling state, to ground themselves and come back to reality.
Cutters deliberately hurt themselves to feel better, to get rapid respite from distressing thoughts and emotions, and to regain sense of control.

What is Cutting?
Someone who cuts uses a sharp object to make marks, cuts, or scratches on the body on purpose — deep enough to break the skin and cause bleeding. People typically cut themselves on their wrists, forearms, thighs, or belly. They might use a razorblade, knife, scissors, a metal tab from a soda can, the end of a paper clip, a nail file, or a pen. Some people burn their skin with the end of a cigarette or lighted match.

Cutting often begins as an impulse. But many teens discover that once they start to cut, they do it more and more, and can have trouble stopping. Many teens who self-injure, report that cutting provides a sense of relief from deep painful emotions. For this very reason, cutting is a behavior that tends to reinforce itself. Cutting can become a teen's habitual way to respond to pressures and unbearable feelings. Many say they feel "addicted" to the behavior. Some would like to stop but don't know how or feel they can't. Other teens don't want to stop cutting.

What Kinds of People Self-Injure?
Self-injurers come from all walks of life and all economic brackets. People who harm themselves can be male or female; gay, straight, or bi; Ph.D.s or high-school dropouts (or high-school students); rich or poor; from any country in the world. Some people who SI manage to function effectively in demanding jobs; they are teachers, therapists, medical professionals, lawyers, professors, engineers. Some are on disability.

Their ages range from early teens to early 60s. In fact, the occurrence of self-injury is about the same as that of eating disorders, but because it's so highly stigmatized, most people hide their scars, burns, and bruises carefully. They also have excuses ready when someone asks about the scars (there are a lot of really vicious cats around).

Educational Issues Regarding Self-Injurious Behavior

Questions that define what it is:

1) Does the self-injurer deliberately cause physical harm to his or her self to the extent of causing severe tissue damage (leaving marks that last for more than an hour)?
2) Does the self-injurer cause this harm to his or her self as a way of dealing with unpleasant or overwhelming emotions, thoughts, or situations?
3) If the self-harm is not compulsive, does the self-injurer often think about SIB even when he or she is relatively calm and not doing it at the moment?
If the individual answers #1 and #2 yes, then they are a self-injurer. If the individual answers #3 yes, they are most likely a repetitive self-injurer.”

What it is not: it is not suicidal!! Often it is done to prevent or ward off suicide.

Is the client’s body being used as a bulletin board?

Statistics and Traits

• Female – 70%
• Males are more frequently hospitalized
• Middle to upper socioeconomic status
• Average to above average intelligence
• Correlation between childhood abuse and SIB – 80%
• Linemann hypothesizes that people who engage in SIB grow up in “invalidating environments”; invalidating environment is one in which communication of private experiences are met by erratic, inappropriate or extreme responses.
• Traits sometimes connected with SIB: sensitive to rejection, chronic anger & depression, suppress anger & feelings, feelings of anxiety & powerlessness, impulsivity, tend to be avoidant, view things as static & non-changing
• Studies have suggested that when people who self-injure get emotionally overwhelmed, an act of self-harm brings their levels of psychological and physiological tension and arousal back to a bearable baseline level almost immediately. They may still feel bad (or not), but they don't have that panicky jittery trapped feeling; it's a calm bad feeling.”

SIB and Irrational Thoughts

• Self injury does not hurt anyone.
• I don’t understand why it upsets others.
• It my body and I can do what I want with it.
• It’s not my fault. It just happens.
• I’m stronger than others. I can take the pain.
• If I don’t self injure I will kill myself.
• It’s the best way for others to see my pain.
• Nobody knows that I injure myself anyway.
• It’s the only way to know if people care about me.
• I need to be punished. I am bad.
This person’s thoughts display poor reality testing. There is probably infrequent social contact & when it occurs the other person may also be dysfunctional.


Three Therapists

  • First therapist said she would ask the client if she was ready to try something new. “What you’re doing now isn’t working, is it?” “You have advanced into another stage in your life. The old way of doing things is the old way.”
  • Second therapist disagreed with first therapist. “The other therapist was being judgmental. A parent might have said what the other therapist said. The message is you are screwing up!! The client may say ‘Yeah, I’ll stop’ in order to comply but keep on cutting. The client may stop seeing therapists. The client has not been shown any other way to channel emotions by parents or the other therapist.”
    “I would try to get the client back in touch with her body, her senses. Let her play with clay while we are talking. Engage her in expressive art therapy, e.g. Sand Tray therapy which works with unconscious content, is non-threatening, sensory & can be non-verbal. No contracts, no weekly goals. First get physical sensations back on track & then work on emotional sensations.”
  • Third therapist: “Some therapists focus on stopping the SIB ASAP because they themselves are not comfortable with it -- it repulses them, it makes them feel ineffective, frightens them. An ideal approach would be one in which SIB is tolerated but has specific consequences. For example, a client might be invited to contact the therapist when an urge to self-harm occurs, but restricted from contact for 24 hours after an actual self-injurious act”
    There is no right or wrong way. See what fits the client & therapist and then get going.

All of the Following are Motivators for Self-Injurious Behavior:
• Limited or primitive communication
• Punishment of self/others
• Control over affect states
• Avoidance of separation/loss
• Control over relationships
• Self-preservation prevention


Source:
Secret Shame
Self-Injury Awareness
Self-Injurious Behavior

Dispelling Myths and Stereotypes

Self-injury is a failed suicide attempt.

False. Self-injury is often a way to continue living and cope with whatever is going on in their life without having to attempt suicide. This does not mean that all cuts to the wrist are not suicide attempts, but most people who self-injure know exactly how deep they can cut before they risk dying.

There is a risk that self-injury may also result in an unintentional suicide by accident. Also, this does not mean that self-injury never triggers feelings of suicide and many self-abusers feel very suicidal at times and may have made attempt in the past. Just because it is not a form of suicide doesn’t make it any less serious or less dangerous a choice.

Self-injury is “attention seeking” behavior.

False. OK, now think about this one, aren’t there better ways to get attention? One could dye their hair blue or walk around naked! Self-injury is a coping strategy and usually one that involves covering it up, not showing it off. Self-injury is a sign of distress.


Self-injury is untreatable. It’s hopeless.

False. The problem is that many people, even professionals, don’t understand self-injury and it seems so foreign to their way of thinking that they can’t think of anyway to help. The key is to look at why not how.

There are services available for treating self-injury. You may need to look around to find someone who understands but they are out there. Other places might include crisis centers, sexual abuse treatment centers, children’s mental health centers or women’s centers.

It’s Borderline Personality Disorder or they’re “Borderline”.

False. Self-injury is not sufficient for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder which requires five of nine criteria, of which self-injury is only one symptom. Again, this label is an easy way for some professionals to describe what they don’t understand. Self-injury is a coping strategy not a diagnosis.


The belief that it is the parents or friend’s fault. They made them do it.

False. Self-injury is not someone else’s fault. To self-abuse or not is a choice and choice is a personal responsibility, therefore ending abuse is a personal responsibility. People in the individual's life may trigger them but there are still choices on what to do with those feelings.

Misconceptions
It's not self-injury if the primary purpose is:

  • sexual pleasure
  • body decoration
  • spiritual enlightenment via ritual
  • fitting in or being cool

SIB and Prejudices

  • “In emergency rooms, people with self-inflicted wounds are often told directly and indirectly, that they are not as deserving of care as someone who has an accidental injury."
  • “Unfortunately, the most popular diagnosis assigned to anyone who self-injures is borderline personality disorder. Patients with this diagnosis are frequently treated as outcasts and troublemakers by psychiatrists.” Do SIB clients get the “right” treatment?
  • “Given that the DSM-IV refers to personality disorders as longstanding patterns of behavior usually beginning in early adulthood, one wonders what justification is used for giving a 14-year-old a negative psychiatric label that will stay with her all of her life.”
  • Must clients have a label, a diagnosis? Yes, they must if insurance is going to cover it. Do diagnosticians feel pressured to pigeonhole clients? This is what they are taught.

    Sources:
    Secret Shame
    Self-Injury: Beyond the Myths
    Myths About Self Injury
  • Q & A

    Alberta Torres, LCSW, RPT

    I have read that self injury is used to cope with intense emotional pain. How can we explain to our classmates the irrational thoughts & self talk that precede self injurious behavior (SIB)? Especially the first time someone self inflicts. It seems counter-intuitive that someone would self inflict pain to deal with pain!
    I have been a clinician for 15 years. My field of expertise is in the area of childhood sexual abuse. I do not consider myself specialized in SIB, but have had training in working with clients who self-harm. Sexual abuse is one area in the field of psychotherapy that you do see SIB.

    I do believe that self-injury is used to deal with emotional pain, sometimes conscious and sometimes unconscious. A client with SIB may be engaged in emotional numbing and disconnection with their physical body. SIB may be way of proving to themselves that they exist and that they are alive. It is a symbolic way to externalize their emotional pain.

    As for the irrationality of self-injury as a means to deal with pain, we have to begin with the understanding that the perception and experience of pain is very subjective. In many non-western primitive cultures “self-injury” is used as a tool to reach higher perceptions of reality/spirituality; dissociation is a purposeful means to an end.

    For someone who dissociates as a defense acquired during past trauma, cutting does not have the same meaning that it does for those of us who are well grounded in our physical bodies.

    Dissociation, a great self-defense, has continued past its’ usefulness and has left the person numb emotionally and impacted their experience of reality and relationship.

    A distorted reality leads to distorted thinking. Distorted thinking is the general foundation of many mental health issues as well as “normal” human problems.

    With regards to empathy, what tools/skills will be most beneficial in making a connection with clients who self-injure? What would be the least helpful?
    Empathy has to do with understanding where your client lives in his/her head/heart. I find that this is impossible if you are not a curious detective. To be genuinely and respectfully curious requires that you get out of your head/heart and make room for your client’s set of values, beliefs and reality without getting lost.

    Always assume that your client is like no other, that s/he is a unique individual no matter the label or diagnoses. The least helpful is to think that your client doesn’t already have all the answers.

    In your opinion, what is the most damaging misconception about people who cut and how does it contribute to their feeling misunderstood and alone? Do your clients who self-injure ever use the word "shame" to describe how they are feeling?
    I believe the most damaging misconception of people with SIB is to think that they are suicidal when in fact what they want is to exist, and to exist without emotional pain (like the rest of us).

    They are screaming for help but no one understands their language, and they may lack the words to make us understand; and so they isolate and seek solace from others who self-injure.

    Clients that I have worked with have not used the word shame, because I think it’s not a word that is well understood. They will say things like “I’m stupid”, “I’m a burden on my family”, etc.

    Where did you find the most surprising sources of inspiration?
    My source of inspiration is almost always my client’s resiliency and inner reality.


    Can you share any "self injury" stories
    I can briefly share with you one of my client’s stories:
    This client I will call Mary was 15 years of age and had been sexually abused by three older teenage boys after leaving her home at night without her mother’s permission.


    She had subsequent losses as well, the death of her grandmother who she was close to, her family had moved her from her previous school and she lost her best friend. And now she was grounded for an indefinite period of time. She began cutting as a result of hearing about this from other girls in school who were cutting.

    Her pattern was generally that she would cut after an argument with her mother or some kind of disappointment. She would isolate herself in her room and stew in her anger which eventually led to her feelings of “being stupid” and going over the events of the night that preceded her sexual assault and all the “shoulds”; I should have called my friend and talked to her instead of going out with the boys, etc.

    Before bedtime she would pull the box where she kept all her “instruments” from under her beg and go through an elaborate ritual of picking her instrument for cutting and picking a spot on her body that she would cut.

    She shared that after she cut and saw the blood oozing out she immediately began to feel “calm” and could then go to sleep. Her main refrain was “I feel stupid”. She felt stupid for sneaking out of her home that day and for going into an empty apartment with boys that she thought were her friends.

    I engaged her in sandplay therapy followed by talk therapy, using cognitive reframe and dream exploration. We talked about how she understood intellectually that what happened wasn’t her fault but how this was separate from the emotional reality.

    She had a “support” circle of friends that had been cutting who were now trying to quit and with their support and the work she did in therapy she was able to stop cutting and form close relationships with her friends and was beginning to re-integrate with her family.

    We explored various ways that she could mourn her losses including the cutting and rituals that she might perform. She was very clear that she didn’t know if she would go back to cutting one day but for now she had found alternate ways to deal with her feelings.

    Veronique Vaillancourt, LCSW

    Are you working as a therapist?
    Yes, and I do see patients who cut. I have been a therapist for over 10 years. I am however not a specialist on cutting.

    I have read that self injury is used to cope with intense emotional pain. How can we explain to our classmates the irrational thoughts & self talk that precede self injurious behavior (SIB)? Especially the first time someone self inflicts. It seems counter-intuitive that someone would self inflict pain to deal with pain!
    Firstly, I think that you enter dangerous territority by labeling the thoughts that occur prior to cutting as "irrational". Though the person doing the behavior is thinking in a distorted manner, it makes very clear sense to them at the time, and really seems like the only solution or way out. Their thinking is distorted perhaps, but irrational...it implies a certain judgement.

    Cutting (the most common SIB) is a coping strategy for handling emotional pain. In some ways it resembles using drugs/alcohol/food/gambling/Internet/TV or any addictive behavior in that it allows the person to "distract" themselves from what they are feeling emotionally. Intense emotional pain, anger towards self or others often precedes cutting.

    Self talk (both the first time and after) varies greatly from person to person. Most often the thought process is likely to be something along the lines of "This situation, emotional pain etc is too much for me to handle, if I can just cut I will have something else to focus on".

    It is also believed to be a way to externalize and show outwardly how much the person is hurting internally. Most clients report that it is much less painful than the emotional pain they feel at the time of self injury.

    With regards to empathy, what tools/skills will be most beneficial in making a connection with clients who self-injure?
    I believe that they are the same tools that one uses with clients with any problems. Understanding, empathy, validation, reflective listening. It also helps to offer alternative coping strategies, though the person has to stop the SIB for these to work.

    What would be the least helpful?
    Shaming, minimalizing, telling the person to just stop it, acting fearful, assuming that it is a suicidal gesture, judgeing them, labelling them, avoiding the topic/not addressing it.

    In your opinion, what is the most damaging misconception about people who cut and how does it contribute to their feeling misunderstood and alone?
    That they are suicidal, crazy, needing to be admitted to the hospital, that there is something "really wrong with them", that the behavior is to get attention (though that is the case with a handful of patients, it is by no means the case for most). "...how does it contribute to their feeling misunderstood and alone..." they feel they have to hide it. That there must be something really wrong with them.

    Do your clients who self-injure ever use the word "shame" to describe how they are feeling?
    No. They typically use words like "I hate myself" "I hate what I did" "I hate my feelings". Hate, Guilty, Bad.... but I think that is because many people do not understand the difference between those words.

    What's the most hurtful stereotype your clients face?
    Being found out and told that they are crazy.

    Where did you find the most surprising sources of inspiration?
    In my experience, most people who cut are not people who are suicidal. They are people struggling with handling a huge amount of internal pain. Often very hurt and angry with themselves and the world.

    The main source of inspiration comes from knowing that them talking about their anger, and pain, often helps reduce the symptoms. Helping to validate their feelings and express their feelings/realities typically decreases the SIB.

    Can triggers lead to SIB/cutting?
    Yes usually what triggers SIB behavior is some intense emotional upset, interaction or feeling that is overwhelming to theperson, thus leading the sib. Ex: verbal argument with husband leaves wife feeling very upset, and then a few hours unable to handle anger towards self or husband, wife cuts.

    Do you address the triggers that lead to SIB in therapy?
    Most often, the primary focus will be to look at finding different healthier strategies to handle overwhelming feelings that lead to the SIB/cutting behavior. So yes addressing the triggers that lead to SIB is central to treatment.

    Real People, Real Stories, Real Hope

    Personal Interview w/ “Great Day” (male)

    1. How old are you? 44
    2. How old were you when you began to self-injure? 14
    3. How did you learn about this practice? I remember trying to burn a tattoo off of me and I remembered that it didn’t hurt…it felt good…definitely enjoyable…I just did it and I liked it. I’m 44 and I still like it. I just don’t do it…because…well…I don’t know
    4. What was your method? Burning…putting out mainly cigars on myself, joints…anything smokable
    5. Can you describe for me your feeling before-during and after the experience? I felt extremely depressed before…pleasure while doing it….relief, I felt better, much calmer afterwards
    6. Have you ever been hospitalized as a result of injuring yourself? No
    7. Did you do it alone or with company? Usually alone but I’d do it to freak people out, too
    8. Do any of your family members know? Uhhh…..yeah…my mother knows---she questioned all the scars every where
    9. How is your comfort level right now discussing the subject of self-injury? Fine
    10. Do you know of others who self-harm? My girl friend is a cutter – but I don’t know any other burners
    11. Can you tell me some of the stereotypes for this group? I pretty much kept it a secret but for the most part – crazy!
    12. Is this a shameful subject for you? It used to be.
    13. How did you deal with the shame? I use to tell people it (the scars) was a staph infection – but finally I fessed up because I got tired of lying, plus I began to meet other cutters and I wasn’t ashamed anymore. I would also cover them (the scars) up. The majority of them are on my legs
    14. Would you mind filling in the blanks for me? Sure
    If I could name my shame, its name would be: Revenge (at my mother)
    If I could color my shame, its color would be: Black
    If I could smell my shame, it would smell like: Burning Flesh
    If I could taste my shame, it would taste like: Puss
    15. Data suggests that self-injurious behavior is closely correlated with sexual abuse and or mental disorders. Were you sexually abused? NO. But came close to having it happen.
    Have you a mental health diagnosis? Yes. Major Depression
    16. There is also supporting data that self-injurious behavior is similar to addiction? Do you agree? Yes
    17. Did this practice interfere with your life such as work, school, and relationships? No. If so, how?
    18. When did you last harm yourself? 6 months ago, before that - 3 years
    19. What are your coping methods now? Self talk…self talk. I say: ‘It’s gonna be a great day’ over and over. If it gets overwhelming I’ll go and get a tattoo. Burning is too messy at my age. I was on paxal for 5 years and took myself off and started to burn again.
    20. Do you still have thoughts of injuring yourself? Daily. Not because of depression or anything but because I like it.

    His six word memoir was actually nine words:
    “I burn myself to make sure I still feel” (9” Nails)

    A blog posting by "Lisa" on SIB.
    "Why is it that “S.I.“ have to be stereotyped? They stereotype us a being psycho, insane, crazy, just in need of attention, and even not normal.I hate the one that says we’re just in need of attention because I’m like if I wanted attention there’s a whole lot of other things I could have did besides S.I..

    And then how could you say I’m “not normal” just because the only outlet is S.I..The truth is we’re as normal as can be we just weren’t taught a way to deal with our stress and problems so this is our way. I think that all that bs about “us” being crazii nd s*** is just a way for people to try to put a title on us because they don’t know what else to say.

    I do have a serious problem and I try my best not to si but it’s NOT that easy. I can’t just be like oh, "Lisa" stop harming yourself cause that’s bad and expect me to be able to just stop. I am as normal as anyone else, si is like a disorder. I was never taught how to control my emotions, like what to do when I feel sad, or need somebody to talk to therefore I’ve resorted to my own methods.

    I have true feelings and many of us have experienced sonething that no one would understand unless they went through it.And sometimes people think if they went through EVERYTHING I ever went through that I had experieced in my life then they would understand me. I come to say that that’s complete bs. Express your feelings……………………………"

    17 year old Female
    "When I was around the age of 5, I used to try and make myself sick and purposely not eat because I had done something wrong and therefore was not perfect. I always had to be perfect and when I screwed something up, I had to pay for it. When I was 10, I sunk into a depression.

    My father was verbally abusive and didn't help my self-image at all. I absolutely hated myself and was constantly wishing something bad would happen to kill the monster that I was. I wasn't suicidal when I first cut. I was 11 and my father had just got finished telling me how stupid and worthless I was.

    I took a knife and went into my room and made several barely there cuts on my leg. Afterwards, I was calm. A year later, I told my best friend I did that and she thought i was the biggest freak. In 8th grade, I was at a really low time and was constantly looking for a way out. Everything turned into a reason I should kill myself. Freshman year wasn't any better and I started cutting on a regular basis.

    I felt I was ugly and horrible and didn't deserve to live. I had made several suicide plans but never got to the point of carrying them out. I felt it was better to cut because I was only hurting myself and not others. I could never do that. Also, when I cut, I didn't dwell on the problem. It helped me get over it. It also gave me a sense of power. I could take all this pain.

    After awhile, I had a fascination with the blood. I had never heard of this behavior, so I thought I was insane. I mean, what kind of person would do this to themselves? This wasn't normal. So I would have lots of shame and wear long sleeves to cover up the cuts.

    I met Michele at the end of freshman year. I noticed the cuts on her arms and we ended up becoming good friends. We understood each other. The beginning of sophomore year, the cutting slowed down and I only had a couple incidents towards the end of sophomore year.

    The beginning of junior year, I had a strange fascination with the pain (although I hardly felt it) and was feeling extreme self-loathing and the cutting increased greatly. Within 2 weeks, I had about 100 new cuts on my left leg. About two weeks ago, somebody turned me into the counseling office at the school.

    My parents were called and were quite angry about the whole situation. My father threatened to put me in a mental institution. My mother was just so hurt and I feel horrible for having hurt her like that. I never wanted to hurt anyone and that is why I cut myself; to avoid hurting others."

    28 year old Male
    "SI makes me feel real. Its like "i have the scars and can prove that i really do feel like this, i'm not pretending or attention seeking, it's for real." The scars make me feel pround, like i have a secret that no one can take away. i can do this to myself and not one can stop me. i like to see my blood, (this seems disgusting and masochistic even to me), but i can't explain why i like it. SI is bittersweet..."

    19 year old Female
    "--My family makes me feel like I deserve it. --I receive so much emotional pain I can't deal with it; physical pain is so much each to deal with, I cut enough so that the physical overpowers the emotional. --Physical pain gives me a sense of control. when you're hurting inside, you feel lost, confused, etc. when you're cutting, you can say, ok, my arm hurts right here, I know that if I put a bandage on it, it will be better and the pain will stop.

    --I hate hypocritical people who say we SI for attention. I can't speak for everyone, but I definitely do not want attention!!! I got reported and my SI was investigated by my mom, doctor, counselor etc. That is NOT the kind of attention I would ever want, and I would never be so desperate for it that I would even want negative attention like that. **I do to my body what's been done to my soul**"

    For more real stories:
    In Their Own Words
    S.A.F.E. Blog

    Shame Resilience and Cutting

    Shame Resilience Theory- Dr. Brene Brown, LMSW

    The four elements of shame resilience are not in any particular order. One can begin practicing them in any order. They all, however, take practice and DO NOT cure one of shame. The goal is to develop resiliency to shame.

    Guilt- “I did something bad.” (Behavior focused)
    Shame- the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging (Brown, 2007). “I am bad” (self focused).

    First Element: Recognizing Shame and Understanding Our Triggers

    Understanding that shame affects us physically, as well as, emotionally is important for resilience. The physical symptoms are different for everyone.

    Shame Triggers are situations, people, topics, etc. that trigger you to feel shame. Some are greater triggers than others. This is another area that is very individualized.
    Unwanted Identities is one of twelve categories in which Dr. Brown, LMSW found that women struggle with feelings of shame.

    (see myths and stereotypes for unwanted identities of the SIB population)

    “Recognizing shame is an important tool for regaining our power.” –Dr. Brown, LMSW

    Second Element: Practicing Critical Awareness

    Critical awareness is “the belief that we can increase personal power by understanding the link between our personal experiences and larger social systems.” –Dr. Brown, LMSW
    A good example of this is the images that the media use to paint the picture of being beautiful. In reality, even the models in magazines are airbrushed and technologically engineered to look tall, slim, and flawless.

    Contextualizing vs. Individualizing
    Normalizing vs. Pathologizing
    Demystifying vs. Reinforcing

    Third Element: Reaching Out

    “One of the most important benefits of reaching out to others is learning that the experiences that make us feel the most alone are actually universal experiences.” –Dr. Brown, LMSW
    By telling your story and hearing others’ stories you “force shame out of hiding and end the silence.” –Dr. Brown, LMSW

    (For stories see S.A.F.E. Alternatives: Self Abuse Finally Ends)

    Fourth Element: Speaking Shame

    “There is nothing more frustrating, and sometimes frightening, than feeling pain and not being able to describe or explain it to someone.” –Dr. Brown, LMSW
    When you begin to speak shame, you begin to find words to express what you are feeling and what you need from others.

    One way to begin is to write a letter to friends and family. Start by finishing the following sentences:

    “When I self injure, I feel _____________________________.” (afraid, ashamed, etc.)
    “When I feel like self injuring, I need you to ____________.” (listen, ask questions, etc.)

    Feel free to write as much as you feel comfortable with. When you are ready you can share the letter with your friends and family.

    Dr. Brene Brown, LMSW recently published Connections: A 12 Session Psychoeducational Shame Resilience Curriculum based on her theory of shame resilience. This is a great tool for working with clients and shame resilience.

    (Dr. Brene Brown, LMSW’s Connection Curriculum- A 12-Session)


    Resources:

    Brown, B. (2007). I thought it was just me (but it isn’t): Telling the truth about
    perfectionism, inadequacy and power. New York: Gotham.

    Tangney, J. P., & Dearing, R. (2002). Shame and Guilt. New York: The Guilford Press.

    Dr. Brene Brown, LMSW’s Connection Curriculum- A 12-Session Psychoeducational Shame Resilience Curriculum

    Self Care

    Self-care is a way of living that incorporates behaviors that help you to be refreshed, replenish your personal motivation, and grow as a person. Some people may think self-care or nurturing is just for the fragile; the weak-willed or wimps. Actually it is a vital part of maintaining good health and a vibrant life. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

    • Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.d recharge
    • Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.
    • Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
    • Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.
    • Process your emotions. It is healthy to listen to your feelings, process them, and try to understand them. A great way to process emotions is the act of journaling.
    • Maintain a spiritual practice. Research shows that a lifestyle including religion or spirituality is generally a healthier lifestyle. Prayer or meditation are examples of ways to enhance your spiritual side. Spiritual practice is deeply personal and whatever you practice it should nurture your soul.

    Healthy Stress Reducers

    • Go for a walk.
    • Spend time in nature.
    • Talk to a supportive friend.
    • Sweat out tension with a good workout.
    • Do something for someone else.
    • Write in your journal.
    • Take a long bath.
    • Play with a pet.
    • Work in your garden.
    • Get a massage.
    • Curl up with a good book.
    • Take a yoga class.
    • Listen to music.
    • Watch a comedy.

    Adopt A Healthy Lifestyle

    • Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension.
    • Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
    • Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.
    • Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.
    • Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

    Sources:
    Stress Management
    How to Reduce, Prevent, and Cope With Stress

    Creativity

    The life-affirming pleasures of creativity and art making, like finished works of art, can reinforce and enhance self-esteem and physical, mental, and emotional well being. The guiding principle is that subconscious feelings and disturbed thoughts find a comfortable outlet in art. Art healing is beneficial in several ways:
    • Visually dealing with traumatic emotions can feel safer than dealing with them in words
    • It lets us express things we cannot express in words
    • It is helpful in releasing emotions
    • It is a powerful therapeutic process that has meaning and comes directly from our own feelings and imagination
    • It allows us to get to know ourselves
    • It is available to everyone
    • It enhances our lives and reduces stress

    Creative expressions by people who self-injure

    Poetry

    Artist
    I am an artist that no one knows
    I draw pictures
    That are hidden under clothes
    I draw things with a twist
    Pictures on my thighs
    And on my wrists
    No pen
    No ink
    But with a razor blade
    I start to paint

    Anonymous

    A completely original title
    Insecurities and flaws

    Strawberry lipgloss covers the bruise
    Big hair and black eyeliner
    Feeling a little used
    Converse shoebox full of secrets
    Razor blades and knifes
    Hidden underneath my bed
    Not meant for you to find
    Cut my arm and cut my wrist
    Cut my shoulder, for a little twist
    Crimson lines of sorrow
    Pouring fresh from my scarred skin
    Hurt myself and the outside
    To kill what is within
    Pull the black long sleeve back down
    To cover what I've done
    Put a fake smile on my face
    Now, wasn't that just fun?

    Anonymous

    Loves True Colours
    I've been so timid with you
    While you try to make me bold
    But I only get by with a mask
    A piece of clay to mold

    Hidden beneath a smile
    Lying for both our sakes
    Nobody could ever know
    How much energy it takes

    You do your best to help me
    Yet your actions make it worse
    Your voice my only solace
    Your words a chanted curse

    Darkness, black under moonlight
    Depression, blue like an ocean
    These colours drip bright red
    With the white-hot pain of emotion

    I'm scared to dig much deeper
    But love just makes me bold
    Let's hope that all these scars
    Fade away once they're old

    Anonymous

    Nobody
    who's there?
    nobody.
    nobody there to help me.
    it's so sad.
    i'm so mad.
    it isn't fair.
    to have these fears.
    wondering why there's nobody to help me out.
    maybe if i shout it out loud.
    nah, that wouldn't help me.
    nobody will ever help me.
    and after all this time
    i finally know the reason why;
    i'm nobody
    and nobody cares.
    blind.
    i'm just blind.
    bleed.
    just bleed, damn it.
    just let this nothingness consume me;
    consume my pain and shame.
    it'll always be the same;
    i'm nobody
    and nobody's there to save me.

    Anonymous

    Your Smile
    Stop trying to lie to us -
    Tell us that you're fine.
    We can see that you're not -
    We're not blind.

    Why can't you trust us?
    Sorry...
    But I must ask:
    Why don't you see?

    Why don't you tell me?
    I've realised -
    Nothing's like it used to be.
    Please, trust and talk?

    You make my life worthwhile:
    I would give anything -
    Just to see you smile...

    Anonymous
    Scars Say
    i will not be
    defined by my scars
    but they will tell me
    some of who you are
    when you look
    what will you see
    will you use them
    to define me
    will they be repulsive
    insanity’s signature
    will they be unsettling
    leave you unsure
    will i suddenly be
    more sick than you thought
    thinking no well person
    would seek what i sought
    will you turn away
    from the proof of my pain
    believing them to be
    my soul’s permanent stain
    will you be mad
    that i suffered alone
    that i didn’t reach out
    when my torment was known
    will there be pity
    deep in your eyes
    or will you be
    somehow unsurprised
    whatever you say
    whatever you do
    my scars will say less of me
    and more about you
    Anonymous

    Dear Cutting,
    Thank you for being such a great friend.
    Thank you for always being there for me.
    Thank you for helping me out when I couldn't continue on my own...
    I'm sorry, though, because I don't need you anymore, Cutting.
    I don't want this type of help that you give me. I don't want to hide in a dark bathroom anymore while people are outside laughing. I want to be one of the ones who laugh.
    I don't have the time to give to you anymore, and you are too greedy, you keep wanting more and more time.
    I am all grown up now, and yet you make me feel like a frightened little child. Swimming through tidal waves isn't good enough for me anymore, I want to learn how to fly.
    See, I have discovered that you're not just an anti-anxiety pill...I have discovered that you are also a very dangerous one. You are eating away my insides, taking away what little control that I have, and I can't afford to lose anything more that belongs to me.
    I don't need what you give me, because what you are taking away from me is even more important to me.

    Examples of songs about cutting:

    Under the Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers
    She’s Falling Apart by Lisa Loeb
    All My Life by Foo Fighters
    Breathe by Sira
    Black and Blue by Counting Crows
    Bleed Like Me by Garbage
    Changes by Three Doors Down
    Footsteps by Pearl Jam
    Into the Void by Nine Inch Nails
    Leave the Light On by Beth Hart
    Never Seen Blue by Tori Amos
    Smoke by Natalie Imbruglia
    Today by Smashing Pumpkins
    Helena by My Chemical Romance
    Numb by Holly McNarland
    Part of Me by Linkin Park
    Point of View by Silverchair

    Artwork
    "Beautiful Girl"
    "Broken Flower"

    Self Art
    "Attempts of Fixing a Broken Heart"
    "All I Want"
    "Self Portrait"
    "Not a Fashion Statement"
    "Emotion"
    "Self Portrait"

    "Dripping Down Red"
    "Fetal Position"
    "Love Worth Dying For"

    "Miss World"
    "Pain Overcomes Fear"
    "Worthless"
    "Silver Lining"

    "Sapphire"
    "Save Me"
    "Pain Overcomes Fear"
    "Of Course"
    "Judge Not"
    "Invisible"

    "Straight Jacket"

    A quote on self-injury.
    "We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, students, and business owners. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, borderline personalities, bipolar disorder, or maybe no formal diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some were not. We are straight, bi, and gay. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every single race or religion that you can possibly think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks." Anonymous

    Info on art and healing: Art Healing
    Poetry: Holding Hope
    Self-Injury Poetry
    Artwork: Self-Injury Artwork

    Individuals who would like to contribute can email: drawings, photographs, and poems to be posted to our site. Content will be monitored.

    Videos

    This video was created by Cornell University. Janis Whitlock, who is the director of the Research Program on Self-Injurious Behaviors or SIB, discusses self injury and the importance of studying SIB.



    Scene from In My Room: The Inner Life of Teen Girls
    This is a clip from a documentary that ventures within the walls of teenage girls' rooms, to reveal the inner journeys of three girls as they transition from adolescence to young adulthood.



    Below is a link to Sarah's Story on YouTube. This video documents "Sarah's" struggle with self harm. WARNING this video does contain TRIGGERING.
    Sarah's Story